Learning to be patient

One thing that has definitely happen over the last 3 months is that I see myself more clearly.  Funny statement especially now when there's less of me having lost 13Kg since the first day of treatment on October 24th 2016.  Trials like these have a way of surfacing heart idols, things that I love more than Christ. 

One clear one is the pride of being productive - the ability to make something happen out of nothing. I'm driven and often I get impatient when things dont go the way I intend it to go.  Like Now!

I found myself frustrated these few days as it appears the recovery has gone  into slow mo....tion.

I have lost 3Kgs in the last 2 weeks, a month after my last radiation treatment.  New sores seem to have appeared (polyp like) on the roof of the throat causing intense pain and coughing especially when it becomes dry.   I have also experienced fatigue, really really tried which I have never experienced during my 7 weeks of treatment. This week, I drove to church office and spent 2 hours talking to colleagues.  It tired me for the  rest of the day!!  

I'm supposed to be going forward!!! Not backward.!!  But I am reminded by NPC survivors that the process of restoration and recovery takes months to a year and more.  The cells are still affected and degenerating which explains the constant hair drop all along my neck even up to now. I am learning to be patient and to take each day as it comes.

Lord, help me to find justification in your righteousness alone NOT in my ability to be productive and useful. Help me to be patient as I await your healing and restoration upon this frail body. Lord have mercy as I get acquainted once again with pain and discomfort.  

PS.   I know I have not been regular here.... whereas the purpose 3 months ago was to update the church community so that you can better pray for me, I am going to begin to record some of my progress over the past 3 months for future reference and NPC patients.

CONNIE AND I and our entire family THANK EACH OF YOU DEEPLY WHO HAVE UPHELD US IN PRAYER, PROVIDED GENEROUSLY THROUGH YOUR CULINARY EXPERTISE,  SHOPPED FOR VEGETABLES, PURCHASED FRUITS, ADORNED OUR LIVING ROOM WITH BOUQUETS, CELEBRATED AND CRIED WITH US THROUGH YOUR WHATSAPP MESSAGES AND COMMENTS HERE.....