Memories in pictures for the record

24th October I began my Radiotherapy Treatment. 35 sessions. 5 days a week
25th October I began my Chemotherapy Treatment  6 sessions, once a week.

I had my last Chemo Therapy treatment on the 29th November

From that day till this week 23rd January 2016 (2 months) I experienced the peak in terms of side effects until this week when things have finally significantly improved.

Up to the 29th November, I had only lost 6Kg.  In the last 2 months I lost a further 7Kg.  Total :13Kg

Here are some pictures...

My last Chemo Treatment. After every treament, nausea sets in

Sorry to spoil your appetite but the white layers in the throat are the sores

After my RT, the doctor added 5 more lighter Irradiation wch eneded on 20th Dec

The skin is burnt from the 35 sessions of RT. It continues to blister a week after the last RT treatment

The hair drops at the back...Still have not grown back. "WHO IS YOUR BABRBER?"

A quick getaway to Cameron Highlands with the family.  This was a good break and rest especially with Bryan back from the US.  We did this on the 2nd day of 2017

With Connie on a cold Cameron's morning

Palas Tea house

The family all together

SS15 McDonalds. We used to do this many Sundays when the children were young

AND FINALLY...

All the meds I used in the last 3 months. Confessions of a Junkie....

Thank you all for patiently following me on this painful and trying journey. Praying for me and my family and encouraging us.

Next steps
I should be going for my CT Scan  in a months time to make sure everything is GONE!!  Praying.

First day I dont have to gargle Aspirin

Today is the first day I do ot have to gargle the aspirin gargle to numb the pain.  I think my throat is clearing up finally.  I picked up a throat infection and fever the last 2 weeks but that too is behind me now!!  Thank God!!

I have been reminded by friends and family to REST!  and rest I must but its not easy! 
Its not easy to stay home when everyone around me is being productive- going to work and going to school
Its not easy to rest when there is a thousand things I would like to do but I'm learning...

Learning to be patient

One thing that has definitely happen over the last 3 months is that I see myself more clearly.  Funny statement especially now when there's less of me having lost 13Kg since the first day of treatment on October 24th 2016.  Trials like these have a way of surfacing heart idols, things that I love more than Christ. 

One clear one is the pride of being productive - the ability to make something happen out of nothing. I'm driven and often I get impatient when things dont go the way I intend it to go.  Like Now!

I found myself frustrated these few days as it appears the recovery has gone  into slow mo....tion.

I have lost 3Kgs in the last 2 weeks, a month after my last radiation treatment.  New sores seem to have appeared (polyp like) on the roof of the throat causing intense pain and coughing especially when it becomes dry.   I have also experienced fatigue, really really tried which I have never experienced during my 7 weeks of treatment. This week, I drove to church office and spent 2 hours talking to colleagues.  It tired me for the  rest of the day!!  

I'm supposed to be going forward!!! Not backward.!!  But I am reminded by NPC survivors that the process of restoration and recovery takes months to a year and more.  The cells are still affected and degenerating which explains the constant hair drop all along my neck even up to now. I am learning to be patient and to take each day as it comes.

Lord, help me to find justification in your righteousness alone NOT in my ability to be productive and useful. Help me to be patient as I await your healing and restoration upon this frail body. Lord have mercy as I get acquainted once again with pain and discomfort.  

PS.   I know I have not been regular here.... whereas the purpose 3 months ago was to update the church community so that you can better pray for me, I am going to begin to record some of my progress over the past 3 months for future reference and NPC patients.

CONNIE AND I and our entire family THANK EACH OF YOU DEEPLY WHO HAVE UPHELD US IN PRAYER, PROVIDED GENEROUSLY THROUGH YOUR CULINARY EXPERTISE,  SHOPPED FOR VEGETABLES, PURCHASED FRUITS, ADORNED OUR LIVING ROOM WITH BOUQUETS, CELEBRATED AND CRIED WITH US THROUGH YOUR WHATSAPP MESSAGES AND COMMENTS HERE.....

20 days after last Radiation

20 days after my last irradiation there are so many ups and downs.  Some good days some bad days.

I had made it a goal to be available to preach a Christmas sermon on Christmas Day at CDPC Subang. My prayer was that I felt no pain and I was not reliant on pain killers and I will go for it. Meanwhile, Ps Ian from CDPCKL who was to preach the same text in the afternoon was on standby in case I could not do it.  The problem was that up to Wednesday, the pain killers were making me drowsy and each time I put my fingers to the computer I would nod off.  Thursday morning, I woke up and I strangely felt no pain!  I took 1 tablet of pain killer (ultracet) and by evening there was minimal pain in my throat.  I took another one before sleeping. The days before I was doing 6 tablets of ultracet a day + 2 tramadol.  By Friday I had taken zero!  Thank you Lord!!   I told Ian I will go for it as the Lord seem to have given me a confirmation.

Luke 2:8-51

Then on Christmas Eve, I felt a bit of pain and by Sunday morning, the pain had returned. It was time to rely on God!  I took a tablet of ultracet and gargled the aspirin just before going up. It went well and it was a great Christmas present for me from the Lord to have proclaimed the Word of God on Christmas Day to the community I love so much!

On Monday morning, I was parched and hoarse. Got back on the pain killers but half of what I used to do.  Praying again for this Sunday as I preach one more time.

My Scripture reader who helped me read scripture through the sermon

FOOD
On Christmas Day lunch at church i ate my first solids...mash potatoes and although it was painful I could actually taste it and swallow it! From then on, I have been on soft solids...porridge and fish etc. This is a huge step forward for me!!

Day by day I am praying that God will heal me from all these side effects quickly.
I still am unable to sleep through the nigh having to wake up every hour to wet my mouth and throat. With the sores, a dry throat is just not good!  Wetting the dry sores is like pouring vinegar on an open wound!

Iradiation 5 more days

Yesterday, I got a bummer news as I went for an ultrasound test of the nodes on the neck. Most of them have shrunk except for the main one which the cancer had infiltrated was still enlarged. Doctor said it usually takes a couple of weeks after RT for it to shrink completely. As a precautionary step however she would like to do 5 sessions of Iradiation. I was so bummed out to hear that as I thought I was done with treatment.
Well, we asked for them to do the planning  on the same day and begin treatment the following day which is today.

a different machine. I step in to a room with a giant C shaped scanner like machine.
I lie on the bench for not more than 3 minutes, this machine comes close to my neck and then
It's done.
The side effects are not as bad as RT apparently since its localised and  targetted only the skin in that area is affected.
Well, it didn't seem so bad and the earlier sores seem to have healed. The pain is now further down the throat....no more spasms and nausea...so I'm hoping the worse is over.

Thank you Lord!!

Week 7

Have not posted because week 7 was especially tough. After every RT session on that last week, I could feel the effects having a greater toll. 34 and 35 the last two was especially bad. As soon as I got into the car, I had a "gag attack". Fotunately there was nothing in my stomach. Connie had to stop the car and only her comforting hand and prayer could stop the atomic from heaving.

We are thankful that its ended and I've completed the 7weeks of treatment. The effects have not ended. In fact I believe the cells that were damaged during the last week now begin to erupt. The throat is worse and the pain has gone deeper into the aesophagus. The blisters on the neck is now only beginning to come out.

I cry out to the Lord to rescue me and to alleviate the extreme pain each time I gargle the mouth. At night it dries up and sticks together. I have not known nor experienced such intense pain.

Spaced Out

I have been unable to post anything as I was just our of it since Wednesday.  The doctor gave me a Fantanyl Patch (morphine) and I put it on Wednesday evening.  The whole of Thursday I felt like I was under a cloud. It was like fighting a jet lag all the time. I could be walking and I'd feel like falling asleep. The medicine was that strong. It was a horrible feeling.

I took the opportunity to drink manuka honey and propolis round the clock and do my gargle of Salt water + lavender + Tea tree oils as many times as possible since the pain was under control.

Today I got off the Fantanyl Patch and onto something less strong.  So far so good and I think the throat maybe healing.

I have 5 more rounds of RT. Please continue to pray :
1) Protection and healing of my throat.
2) Salivary  Glands to start working again
3)  Quick and total recovery
4) No more tumor or cancer cells left following the last treatment on Friday!!

For all those journeying with me, thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement!